Dear Friends and Colleagues,
As Certified Speaking Professional and consultant, I feel have an obligation to be culturally sensitive and politically correct.
In that spirit, I offer the following New Year’s greeting (with tongue planted firmly in cheek and a tip of the hat to the late George Carlin):
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, with respect to the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other great cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
[Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with any and all alterations to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and said warranty is limited to replacement of this or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.]
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Best wishes (subject to the above warranty and disclaimer),
Political correctness aside, may 2013 be your best year ever!