“Ban Bossy?” Sounds Good, But Here’s the Reality For Women

Our modern day Rosie the Riveter, Sheryl Sandberg is at it again with a new campaign called “Ban Bossy.”

It is a campaign that was launched this week as a collaborative effort between Girl Scouts USA and LeanIn.org to empower young girls to be leaders without the fear of being labeled “bossy.” She has some celebrities and/or notable women and men helping her to propel the reach of the campaign like Beyoncé and Condoleezza Rice, among others.

As a woman who has two young girls, I appreciate the sentiment behind the campaign, but it ends there.

“An admirable attempt to change the conversation”

“Bossy” is the least of what women are called in the workplace for being strong-willed, knowledgeable in their craft and determined. Unfortunately, the reality of being a woman and a leader of color in the workplace also has its own distinct challenges.

As a mother, leader and professional, I strive constantly to show my daughters that you have to be a no-nonsense kind of gal to get anywhere in business.

A woman’s success in business requires persistence, self-confidence, advocacy and the knowledge that you deserve better, when all you would rather do is retreat in fear of rubbing the very people you are trying to impress the wrong way.

I have reservations about the efficiency of banning a word like “bossy” in hopes that it will get more girls to realize their worth and fight the good fight when they eventually become professionals in the workplace. From a psychological perspective, words hurt and they are powerful. Therefore, this is an admirable attempt to change the conversation and urge others to use more endearing words.

The problem is banning bossy isn’t going to change the blatant and ongoing deficits in pay that women experience in stark contrast to their male counterparts. It will not change the apparent lack of representation of women leaders in organizations across the U.S.

“Ban Bossy” falls short of impacting the very thing that this is all about; which is for organizations to regard women as viable, thinking, worthy, tenacious, dynamic professionals that deserve the same respect, pay, and recognition that males similarly situated have been afforded.

Sometimes, leaning in isn’t enough…

I have “leaned-in” and advocated for higher pay. Guess what? I got an “I hear you and I appreciate you” but we can’t do anything for you. I have taken a strong position on issues in organizations where I have worked and watched as my managers sat across from me with smug smirks and nothing else to lend to the conversation.

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I have also been the best qualified person in the room to handle a job and watched on as a less qualified man took over the reins (under my tutelage) without any accolades being thrown my way. Furthermore, I have had women in leadership try to derail my career or diminish the value of my talents out of fear that I was conspiring to take their jobs.

How does banning a word prepare my daughters or any other young women for those disappointments?

Our challenge in prepping our young women for leadership is not dependent on what they may be called but on the unfortunate reality they will face in trying to achieve, learn and become leaders. We owe them the reality of the struggle and the blueprint to navigate it so the journey doesn’t “sting” as much- never mind being called “bossy.”

Where’s the cavalry of all of these successful women that have “leaned-in?” Are they on the front lines making sure that situations like what I have experienced don’t happen to women in organizations anywhere?

Until I hear data and evidence around how this campaign is changing perceptions and subsequent actions in Corporate America, I will reserve my right to teach my girls about the reality of leadership for women via my School of Hard Knocks — the truth.

This was originally publised on Janine Truitt’s The Aristocracy of HR blog.

Janine N. Truitt is a human resources professional as well as an HR blogger/founder of “The Aristocracy of HR” blog. Follow her blog "The Aristocracy of HR" at http://hr.toolbox.com/blogs/aristocracy-hr/ . Connect with her on LinkedIn and follow her tweets on Twitter @CzarinaofHR. The opinions shared in her articles are her own and are in no way a reflection of the views of her employer.

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4 Comments on ““Ban Bossy?” Sounds Good, But Here’s the Reality For Women

  1. I agree with you. It’s a nice concept, but there is a lot more to the reality of being a female leader in the business world than the removal of a particular word. For as much progress as we’ve made (and there has been a lot), there are still a lot of prejudices and challenges that remain. That being said, I like that the campain is bringing up the conversation and giving us the platform to discuss our shared experiences. Maybe it will spur something even bigger. Great article!

  2. Sorry, but one premise on which this argument is raised is simply false. For equal work, women experience no pay differences compared to men. This fallacy is either put forward through gross ignorance or willful misrepresentation.
    While it is true that women — as a group — make less than men as a group, their choices of professions and time spent at work do make them earn less. To use the group effect without explanation to state that we have a societal problem is really intellectually dishonest.
    There are plenty of sources out there that support this position.

    On the central issue of banning “bossy” as an adjective for women leaders, then perhaps we ought to ban all adjectives used to demarcate bad leadership. How about instead of banning words (sounds Orwellian, anyway), we teach girls and boys not to *be* bossy?

    Further, how about we focus on the *war on boys* that makes their assertiveness and initiative in the classroom not an activity to be medicated away or suppressed, but as a behavior to be encouraged.

  3. Part of the answer to bad language and name calling is the dignity of the women themselves. The other answer is the courage of the men who witness discrimination to stand up and challenge it.

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