16 Really Stupid Moves That Will Get You Fired

TheLaw.TV had an article recently about the 8 Stupid Moves That Get You Fired.

Two things about this came to mind:

  1. What the hell is TheLaw.TV? Is it a TV show on the Internet? If so why the article? Why .TV? NBS, ABC, CBS, FOX, etc. don’t end in .TV; and,’
  2. I’m pretty sure there are more than 8 Stupid Moves that will get you fired!

Here are the 8 Stupid Moves from TheLaw.TV post:

1. Being late too often.

2. Stealing from the company. (I’m sure they don’t mean stealing things like office supplies – they mean Stealing-Stealing…)

3. Too many sick days. (Yep, you get sick days, but companies don’t like it when you use them, so we just tell you when you should use them. It’s Jedi-Mind Tricks, but HR-ish.)

4. Falsifying time card. (My personal favorite is having a “friend” clock out for you later in the day, when you left early. When that happens, I get to fire both of you!)

5. That’s not part of my job description. (I don’t think this one was real, but someone at TheLaw.TV needed some more. I know this is fake because the only thing SHRM has truly taught HR Pros in the last 50 years is that one line on the bottom of every job description – and I don’t even need to write it, because you know it! — is “Other duties…”

6. Drinking on the job. (before noon.)

7. Sexual misconduct. Approximately 37.8% percent of people met their spouse at work, according to an eHarmony totally legit survey. In that same survey, but unpublished, were how many people found their “next” spouse at work — at a slightly higher rate of 92.8 percent.)

8. Surfing porn. (Nothing says “Fire Me” like boobs at work. On a totally different but similar note,  I’ve never had to fire a woman for surfing porn at work. That might be a separate post if I could find an HR Pro willing to share a female porn firing story!)

Good list, but here are 8 more

This is a solid list, but remember, the title was Stupid Moves That Get You Fired. I think they missed a few:

9. Cooking fish in the break room microwave. (That’s like terrorist bad! You know who you are!)

10. Smoking pot in your car at lunch when I can see you from my office window. (“Hi [that’s me waving] – I can see you!”)

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11. Wearing white socks with black or brown dress shoes. (I haven’t fired anyone for this, but I’ve come close.)

12. Fighting with the boss over some stupid idea you won’t let go of. (But really, we should change up everything we do and become a charity,  because 50 years of running a profitable company is enough.)

13. Taking credit for crap you didn’t do, but that people who report to you did. (I would actually go with hanging over firing on this one.)

14. Asking for a salary increase after you just got a your butt handed to you in your performance review. (Gutsy, but stupid.)

15. Listening to really weird Pandora mixes at the office in attempt to look cool. (I have to admit I did this back in the day – last year – but it was rap because I wanted to look black, not cool.)

16. Being “way” into anything in an over-the-top way. (Think transmeta-physical yogoa-ultra-marathoner, I only eat dirt and I’m obsessed with Pokemon. Come on – you’re fired.)

OK, give me your Stupid Moves that will definitely get someone fired! Hit me in the comments.

This was originally published on Tim Sackett’s blog, The Tim Sackett Project.

Tim Sackett, MS, SPHR is executive vice president of HRU Technical Resources, a contingent staffing firm in Lansing, MI. Tim has 20 years of HR and talent background split evenly between corporate HR gigs among the Fortune 500 and the HR vendor community ? so he gets it from both sides of the desk. A frequent contributor to the talent blog Fistful of Talent, Tim also speaks at many HR conferences and events. Contact him here.

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6 Comments on “16 Really Stupid Moves That Will Get You Fired

  1. How about someone who is on the phone, and when asked by the person on the other end how they are doing, the answer is ALWAYS “Better than I deserve!” Your additions should be called the “8 Deadly Sins that will get you fired and set on fire by your co-workers.”

  2. What a great list! Most of the time, employees get fired for pretty obvious reasons, but as you noted, there are some outliers to consider. Here’s the big one: Failing to do your job to the best of your ability. We all run the risk of getting bored or becoming unengaged after doing the same job for months or years at a time. However, it can really put a damper on your performance. Don’t let it get that far — if you’re feeling sluggish or unengaged at work, ask for varied tasks or propose a new project to tackle.

  3. Really??? And you used to work in HR for a hospitality company? When I worked for a more upscale hospitality company:
    1) My boss routinely took credit for my work. Once on a conference call I talked about something I had recently accomplished. She responded with, “no WE did that”. Even though she had zero interest, input or how to do it.
    2) This same boss drank with her staff and dated subordinates.
    3) She also was known for stealing champagne and other items from the bar stash.
    4) Our executive chef, my other boss, routinely showed up drunk at work.
    And guess what? They’re both still there—and have been promoted. Why was I fired? I complained about how abusive she was to her boss (who had originally wanted to replace her, but backed off—-because she was also having an affair with one of the Vice Presidents and was protected).
    Oh and for the record, no they didn’t make lots of money OR get great reviews. His food was panned, her numbers were terrible. Guess what? Within my division, I controlled costs and actually exceeded operating profit, even when I didn’t quite hit sales goals.

  4. situations where I have seen people fired or suspended immediately

    * taking a copy of the company’s email list and using it to market their personal web shop

    * selling company equipment due to be scrapped but paperwork not completed, for personal gain on ebay

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